I will introducing the Krishna who is a avatar of God Vishnu.
From the time of the birth to until the of his life many things happen. There are many stories that are interesting and learn much more things about different things. I really like Krishna and his stories so I will give introduction about him on this page. I haven't specifically pick all of the stories of Krishna yet. Once I get done with the three final stories than I will be putting those three stories, and will be able to look at it later. Till then wait for my stories and I am sure you will like it.
Click on Jhpatel
Click on Jhpatel
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| Krishna and Radha |
Hey Jeet, your first story starts off a little dull. it did not really catch my attention until I seen another picture with a link underneath it, the link underneath is a good representation of the "Image Information" we have to add into our assignments. The God of Vishnu seems like it has a good base from what I read on your project. I think you need more text between the pictures, this will help a person from doing other research on the tale you are trying to tell. But I do like the idea of multiple pictures to grab the readers attention. I just think you need more text about the tale, to make sure the story is detailed, make sure there is some dialogue and a climax and drop. The ending needs to have the reader wondering what will happen next. Other that I really like the set up from your project you picked.
ReplyDeleteHi Jeet, thank you for sharing this story with us! I really enjoyed the imagery you used here to present the plot as well as using actual images to really bring the story to life. I enjoyed the simplicity of the topic and of the story, it definitely could have been elaborated but I see where simplicity is also needed and would be better for the type of story. I enjoyed the way you kept to the basics and then allowed the plot to flow out of that. The tale is very well written and while there could have definitely been more detail implimented within the text, overall did a very good job of keeping it simple. Thank you again for sharing! I look forward to reading more of your work and seeing you unique style of writing. Have a great week 7 in the class!
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you Jeet!
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your story, I was impressed by how you created what the dialogue would have been between the two. Not only that but you kept the story so similar to the original that I had no issues keeping with the story, as I do with many other stories. The way you created a full set-up to a mid point and finally the climax throughout your story was amazing! I wonder how things might have gone throughout the Mahabrata if Krishna would have died as an infant? That would create an incredibly interesting story plot. I also very much enjoyed the ending and how Krishna was able to counter act the attempt on his life from Patana, considering he is an avatar of a god this would make since. There were some grammar mistake throughout the reading, mainly towards the end. I do the same thing!
Hey Jeet! I did not know you were in the class! I have only read your brother's blog but I like that you have one as well! one thing that I like is how you guys are both in the class at the same time. That is pretty funny and I appreciate that. Your portfolio looks like it is coming a long really well an I like how you base your stories off of Krishna. One of my favorite things about Krishna is how he rode Arjuna's chariot and he was disguised as a mortal. I also really like the story about Putana. I have never heard of her before and I like that you added something new to the reading! This gets me really excited about reading and learning more about Indian lore and that's great! Anyways, I look forward to reading more of your stories Jeet, keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteJeet, you introduction I believe does a good job of setting the story for the rest of you project, it gives the reader an introduction to the character you are focusing on, as well as the key background information like relatives, ancestors, themes, etc. The other key item you introduced was what sounds like will be your main villain of these stories, the rakshasas, allowing the reader to get a foreshadowing of who will be the other player in your conflicts. For the story itself, I was wondering if maybe some scene description or words giving us some imagery or emotion could come into play, in order to help immerse the reader in your narrative. Your story does a good job of giving the reader the key facts of the story, but with the detailed description given by your introduction I was hoping to see more of the same in the story itself. The story itself was very good, and I hope to see the extra description come as part of a revision challenge.
ReplyDeleteHello Jeet,
ReplyDeleteWow, I really loved reading your stories and I didn't want to stop learning and seeing what was going to happen to this baby. I like you did a great job at writing this story and changing some aspects but not all of them. You did a great job at continuing the story from the introduction.I can't wait to find out more about how this baby is going to change people's lives. I think you chose a great topic for your project. I think you really did a great job and I can't wait to read more. I really didn't see much error and I though reading the story went smoothly. The only thing I think you could add is more dialog in the story between the nanny and the other. It seemed kinds awkward. It was a fun story to read.
It's nice to meet you Jeet! I really enjoyed the pictures that you picked for your portfolio. They were all really interesting and fitting for your stories. I liked how well you integrated the introduction into the first story. It's really nice to have the background going into the first story. If I could offer you some advice, I would say that you should try to connect your characters a little more. Perhaps a little more about their motives or what they're thinking to themselves. Other than that, I really enjoyed getting to read your work and am looking forward to getting to read more the rest of the semester.
ReplyDeleteHowdy Jeet! I'm in the Myths & Folklore class and this was the first storybook that I've read from your class, which was exciting. I think that your introduction did a great job of setting the stage for the rest of the story, especially because I didn't know anything about the characters going into it.
ReplyDeleteYou have a "matter of fact" narrative style that I think really suits this storybook. Your storytelling gives the legend a nice sense of pacing. I think that it would be helpful to have a little more background about that prophecy that was mentioned early in the first story! Overall this was a very enjoyable story.
Hello Jeet! I like what you did with the story of Krishna and Putana. One thing that I have noticed with a lot of these Hindu stories is that there is not a lot of dialogue between characters, and because of that there are sometimes holes in the narrative that don't get filled in. So for you to go in and leave the story the same but fill in those dialogue holes really adds a lot of depth to the story and gives the reader more background into what is going on. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Jeet! I really liked the images that you included in your storybook! They were all topical to the stories you were telling and were interesting to look at! Your introduction gave a good amount of background information about Krishna and his relation to Vishnu and his parents. For the rest of the stories I enjoyed that they were told from Krishna’s point of view. By doing this, you are able to communicate the personality of him in an easy way. In the Putana story I liked how Krishna knew that he was in trouble but had no way of warning Yashoda. This highlights the strength and intelligence of Krishna, even at such a young age. His playful personality is also developed when you described him dancing on Kaliya’s head just because he felt like it. Another thing that you did well in your project was adding dialogue to the characters. This is something that I have struggled to do in my stories, but you have done just fine! This is a wonderful storybook about Krishna so far!
ReplyDeleteHello Jeet!!
ReplyDeleteI am looking at your project for a story commenting assignment and can I just say that they are excellent. Every story on your project is well written and each one really grabs the readers attention. More specifically, I like how you used dialogue in each of your stories to help build a relationship between the characters and the reader. I think that it is extremely important for the reader to have a connection to the story. I also like how you were able to go into detail in each story and describe important parts of each story. It really helped to clarify the story. Overall the stories look excellent, and the only thing that I think could possibly help your stories would be to maybe talk about character motives a little more. This may make it clearer for the reader to understand what is going on. Great Job though and good luck finishing up the class and the semester!
Hi Jeet! I enjoyed how you spent your Introduction talking about the background of Krishna so it gives readers an idea and the necessary information about who he really is. In the story "Krishna and Putana," I liked how you stated what "roops" means because that word was used continuously throughout the story. In addition, I enjoyed how you started your Storybook with the literal beginning of Krishna - with a story from his infancy. I think this gives a great timeline setup for your project. In the next story, you go on and talk about Krishna's childhood and how he is a normal kid just like the rest of us were. The last story you wrote is my favorite one you have written because it was lighthearted and even a bit comedic and it showed Krishna as a hero. Readers get a glimpse of the thoughts of Krishna allowing them to get a realistic perspective on him. Overall, great job on your Storybook and good luck with finals! :)
ReplyDeleteHey there, Jeet!
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time around checking out your project. It looks really great! My first impression was good. The setup of the site is very clean and easy to navigate. I thought the background colors and images also add a very nice touch to the overall look. You did a great job providing a very solid introduction to the project. It contained relevant background information that really sets the reader up nicely. The stories were very well written. I like how you put a lot of focus on building conversations and having a lot of dialogue. I have always found this to be hard, but you did a great job here. Since this is the last week I am sure you are finished with all of your stories. I am happy that I was able to check in before the class was over. I wish you the best moving forward and finishing up with all of your classes!
Hello, Jeet!
ReplyDeleteThank you for including an introduction to explain to readers the incredibly epic beginning of Krishna's life. I love how visual you made your project with beautiful images of the gods. However, you could probably use another image for your banner to better portray the plot. I think you did a great job narrating the story from Krishna's point of view. The retold stories are unique and definitely grab my attention with the first paragraph. Another piece of feedforward: I think you could expand on your Author's Notes to include more of your inspiration behind your stories as well as why you chose to retell these particular stories, since there are so many. Regardless, I think you did an awesome job with your project. Good luck with the rest of the semester.